Take a break from this season’s endless list of celebrity DUIs, it appears we have a full-fledged battery suspect in our midst. And his name is Pierce. Pierce Brosnan.

The incident allegedly occurred outside Casa Escobar last Friday in a Malibu mall about 6:15 PM. We’re told Brosnan allegedly committed a battery on Robert Rosen, a photographer.

According to a witness, Pierce was there with his kid, when a pap started complimenting him on his Bond roles. Pierce allegedly told the photog, “Why don’t you f**k off, mate,” and then struck him in the ribs. A witness says the pap instinctively reacted by kicking Pierce — we’re told, in the stomach.

Sheriff’s spokesperson Steve Whitmore says his department is “actively investigating” the matter and will be referring the case to the L.A. County D.A. for review.

That poor, poor, poor photographer who goes around complimenting stars. I mean, the paparazzo didn’t get all up in Pierce’s face. They never do! He was just minding his own business when this all happened.

Photographers. Always the victims.

Rosie O’Donnell channels her inner Queen Elizabeth on ‘The Martha Stewart Show’ tomorrow, her first television appearance since abruptly leaving ‘The View.’

Rosie joked to Goddess Martha, “I can hardly walk. I don’t know how queens do this. And by that, I mean gay men too.”

Martha says she offered Rosie a job on her show after the controversial gabber left ‘The View,’ “but she wanted too much money.”

Meanwhile, Rosie says this time of year is “living hell in her home.”

“Why?” asks Martha. “Are the kids bouncing off the walls?”

Says Rosie: “No - mommy is in bed, trying to go to sleep, thinking: there is an Almond Joy one flight down. I go through those kids’ candy bags like you can’t believe.”

‘Grey’s Anatomy’ costars and BFFs T.R. Knight and Katherine Heigl can’t hold back the laughter after catching a showing of Cate Blanchett’s ‘Elizabeth: The Golden Age’ at the Arclight theaters in Hollywood on Monday.

The film is an exploration of the relationship between Elizabeth I and the adventurer Sir Walter Raleigh during the changing religious and political tides of late 16th century Europe.

Heck, what’s there not to laugh at?

The surprise guest at last night’s ‘American Gangster’ screening at the Arclight in Hollywood was none other than Mel Gibson .

The controversial director appeared sane, sober and happy. Shocking, I know.

Mel stopped just long enough in front of the press to hug the film’s stars, Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe, pose for a few photos and tell the actors how much he was looking forward to seeing their film.

Hmm….a political/publicity move, perhaps? Could Mel be staging a comeback?

The author who has been working with Britney Spears’ mom, Lynne, on ‘Pop Culture Mom: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World,’ says the book isn’t a tell-all, but rather a mother’s view of a child thrust into the spotlight.

Lorilee Craker tells her local paper, The Grand Rapid Press: “Lynne, first of all, is a wonderful person. She is one of the kindest, most decent people, and very down-to-earth. People would be amazed at how normal she is, but she’s living in this sort of surreal life at the same time.”

She adds: “One thing I do want to make clear is that she’s not a stage mom. People are so accusatory toward her and so judgmental of her, and it just drives me crazy because I know the real her.”

Our thoughts? Is this just some much needed damage control or merely a true character witness stepping forward? You decide!

Clad in a Halloween costume (we hope it’s a costume), Britney Spears made an unplanned appearance at the Virgin Mega Store in Hollywood last night for the midnight release of her new album, ‘Blackout.’

Despite the fact that supportive fans were everywhere screaming for the pop star, an indifferent Brit drove away minutes later after she couldn’t find a parking spot.

Quitter!

Later in the night, Britney headed out to Winston’s with BFF Alli Simms where they were pulled over by police!

There are simply no ordinary days in the life of Britney Spears.

A new book about Madonna called ‘Madonna: Like An Icon’ includes claims that the Material Girl almost had a baby with rapper Tupac Shakur. The two briefly dated in the early 90s, right around the same time Madge’s biological clock was going ballistic.

While Madonna was aching for a baby Tupac dumped her due to the influence of his chicken-headed rapper girlfriends. According to the source: “She was going out with him … but homegirls were saying to him, ‘I can’t believe you’re going out with a white girl - so she got dumped!”

Just imagine — a Tupac/Madonna offspring learning Kabbalah in his castle somewhere in cloudy London.

I guess sometimes things were just meant to play out the way they played out.

Keyshia Cole (my fave R&B artist) looks simply divine as she graces the December 2007 cover of Vibe magazine.

Keyshia intimately discusses growing up hard in Oakland, only to become an icon. “Now I’ve overcome everything,” she reveals. “And I’m looking in the mirror, only to figure out who I am.”

I ain’t mad at ya, girl! You better hold your ta-tas while looking like the Black Marilyn Monroe. Work!!!

Canadian chanteuse Celine Dion poses at the Sultans of Swag Gift Lounge after her recent performance for ITV1 spectacular ‘Saturday Night Divas’ at London Television Studios in London.

Cute Hefty garbage bag. Next time, may we suggest some tailoring?

Has Brad Pitt offered to campaign for Barack Obama? And has Obama turned him down? That sure seems to be the case…

When the socially conscious star offered to help the Democratic contender’s presidential campaign, he was turned down, our sources report.

The overture was made through intermediaries, and it’s not known whether the Illinois senator was even aware of Pitt’s offer to make appearances on his behalf.

Obama’s advisers felt Pitt was “a great guy,” said a knowledgeable source, but they didn’t want their candidate - who already has the endorsements of Pitt pals George Clooney and Matt Damon - to appear to be “too Hollywood.”

What’s more, as politically correct as Pitt’s partner, Angelina Jolie, is now, the source ruminated that it might be hard for some Americans to forget that she used to wear a vial of blood around her neck.

Pssh….it’s always the same story. Blame the woman!