LINDSAY WANTS TO GIVE YOU A BIBLE!!!

lindsay-lohan-missionary.jpg

Since the whole Marilyn Monroe/New York magazine thing didn’t help change public perception, Lindsay Lohan has decided to get all philanthropic by volunteering her time. Where, you ask? According to LiLo’s dad, the recovering party girl has signed up to do MISSIONARY WORK with Times Square Church Missions.

“She has made it clear she definitely wants to come along,” Michael Lohan tells In Touch of their plans. “Our trip next February encompasses the issue of child sexual slavery in India. We also deal with helping AIDS victims.” Michael, an ex-con-turned-youth minister, says that Lindsay, 21, is also considering other international missions. “Lindsay’s very spiritual. She has a wonderful heart, loves people and is very charitable,”

Mark my words: Jesus will be in rehab by the end of the year.

[Flynet]

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12 Comments

  1. Honey
    April-16-2008 @ 11:32 am

    hahahahahahahahahahahaahah!!!!! I agree with Arasto!!

  2. Anonymous
    April-16-2008 @ 11:36 am

    This family is really becoming a joke! A trip to India??? Give me a fucking break!!! Can you say publicity stunt?? SKANK!!! The last line was hilarious by the way. Okay… I’m good now.

  3. STAY AWAY
    April-16-2008 @ 11:37 am

    A bible would instantly caught on fire if Lindsay even decided to go near it.

  4. Anonymous
    April-16-2008 @ 11:39 am

    ^^^^ lol!!!

  5. Sarah
    April-16-2008 @ 11:42 am

    They’re so desperate! I feel bad for Michael though, he’s constantly trying to rescue his daughter’s image, and it’s just not working out because she just continues to screw up…

  6. JOSEPH CHRIST
    April-16-2008 @ 11:48 am

    Dear Lindsay,
    I attempted to reach you through the Make-a-Wish foundation. My hardship is real, but the foundation said it could not grant my wish because my wish did not fall within the foundation’s guidelines. If you read this, would you please let me know if your very charitable, wonderful heart might consider loving me in that way that only you can? I have long dreamed of a casual encounter with you but have never found you on craiglist, and without the help of the foundation, I am left to bring my wish straight to you. I need your charitable lust!!! Please help!
    Yours faithfully,
    JC

  7. Rihanna's Third Cousin
    April-16-2008 @ 11:52 am

    Every move she makes becomes more and more desperate. She needs to go away now.

  8. Anonymous
    April-16-2008 @ 12:02 pm

    I think JOSEPH CHRIST is on more drugs than Lindsay.

  9. Dewey
    April-16-2008 @ 12:04 pm

    LMAO @ Joseph Christ!!!! Brilliant!!!

  10. Anonymous
    April-16-2008 @ 12:04 pm

    hahahahahahahahahaah Joseph Christ too funny!!!!!

  11. Stephi
    April-16-2008 @ 8:13 pm

    Oh that last comment of yours is hilarious Arasto!! I honestly think Lindsay has a completely different perception of herself than how everyone else sees her. She’s not cool, she’s a grotty party girl who has a nothing career. The only reason anyone talks about her is because of her faults. Even people like Britney Spears and Victoria Beckham who people like to pick on have been highly successful in their careers and at certain stages of their lives admired for the person that they are. Lindsay has never had that.

  12. Anonymous
    April-17-2008 @ 2:58 am

    What about LL makes you people think she cannot change?

    Leave Jesus alone.

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