Oscar-nominated actress (and now, Parade contributing writer) Natalie Portman shares her thoughts on the dangers of being a “pleaser,” insight and inspiration she’s gained from royalty, what she learned from a recent trip to Africa and more.
Natalie on trusting her gut: “I’ve always been something of a pleaser: I want to make other people happy. That’s not the worst thing. I mean, the fact that you like people and want them to like you is great — as long as you’re not sacrificing who you are. I’m not someone who has a lot of regrets, but last year I did something that I wasn’t comfortable with, and I’m really sorry I didn’t listen to my intuition. There was a scene in a movie that felt inappropriate for me, but I didn’t want to make waves. So I let myself get talked into it, even though it shook me up. From now on, I’m going to trust my gut more. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is say “no.†No matter how much you plan and how hard you try, you can’t predict the outcome of things. I’m always surprised by what people end up talking about. There have been times when I’ve put my best effort into my work and had great success. Other times, I have tried just as hard, and it hasn’t worked out. I realize now that the only thing in my control is my own behavior, not other people’s reactions.”Natalie on her If-It’s-Not-Working-Change-It philosophy: “My family came here from Israel when I was 3, and at first we moved around a lot. I got really good at figuring out a situation and diving in. I was the cool new kid; I never doubted myself. Actually, I was probably kind of arrogant. Then, the summer after seventh grade, I shot my first movie, The Professional. Looking back, I realize that I might not have been that sensitive when I told people about it, and it came off as bragging. I was going to a small private school, and the other kids completely turned against me. No one would talk to me. I was so miserable that I had to change schools. But it made me think about how what I say affects other people, and I corrected my bravado. My dad helped me so much with this. He’s a doctor, and he’s really amazing. He’s one of those rare people who will actually change his opinions or his behavior if it’s hurting someone else. It was remarkable to learn that from him.”
Natalie on her trip to Africa: “When I was in Uganda with FINCA recently, I met a young woman whose parents had died of AIDS. She was completely alone, taking care of her brothers and sisters. They were all living in one room; they had absolutely nothing. Everyone was talking down to her, but when we asked what she wanted, her answer amazed me. While 50 cents more a day would have totally revolutionized their lives, she looked at us and said in a clear, strong voice: “My brothers and sisters deserve the same chances you’ve had. I want them all to go to boarding school.†She didn’t want a handout. She knew that her family had a right to the same opportunities as everyone else. It was incredibly inspiring. I know that I’m the luckiest person in the world, but I still have so much to learn. That woman, who had not been given any chances in life, reminded me to always keep my own worth in mind.”
17 Comments
I adore her.
she is so beautiful.
Wait are we supposed to give Africans the same opportunties as Americans? How about them creating their own opportunities. How about them not acting like animals and actually use birth control to help stop the spread of AIDS. How about them rising up and taking over from the vicious dictators that sit back and rule their countries from thrones of gold while the populace starves. There comes a point when you have to be responsible for yourselves!
“I realize now that the only thing in my control is my own behavior, not other people’s reactions.†If only Britney was this damn smart!
Such a lovely human being.
She is gorgeous and seems really level headed for starting in hollywood so young.
I love Natalie Portman. She is so beautiful and intelligent …
But on a side note, Anonymous I can’t believe how ignorant your comment is. You referred to Africans as animals??!?? Have you thought that maybe they don’t use birth control because they don’t have the resources or supplies so readily on hand. They can’t exactly just go to the corner store and pick up a box of condoms. They can barely see a doctor to aid them in the most basic of health care nonetheless to pick up some free condom samples. You speak of rising up to take over dictators as if that is such an easy thing to do. You speak from a position of privilege and judge those that don’t even have the basic necessities of life. If you weren’t born in a society such as ours do you really think it would be so easy to be “responsible” for yourself?
Have you studied the founding fathers of this nation, pixielynh? They put everything on the line to save themselves from oppression and the majority of them lost everything in the process EXCEPT for freedom. Yes its difficult but it can be done. WHO has been distributing condoms by the millions to Africa but, for whatever ignorant reason, most African men refuse to use them.
+
I’m not saying they don’t deserve some help, but it’d be nice to see them help themselves as well.
I love how you talk like you actually had a hand in creating your own freedom and opportunity in America Meldrick– I’m pretty sure you were born with more freedoms then most Africans can even conceive of, without having to do a damn thing. It’s not enough to make condoms available, or even readily available at that– if this was the case growth of AIDS in our own country would have gone down, not to mention the rate of abortions and unwanted pregnancies. This issue I’m afraid, is way more complex then that
Once a certain political system has been in place for ages and generations, it’s really hard to break out of it.
I agree with Anon 10:21, it’s all much more complicated that it seems. You can’t just wave a magic wand over something and make it right, even though they’re trying hard as hell.
I just cracked a rib. There are some of the most ignorant posts I’ve ever seen on this blog here and yet they think that Africans are ignorant. Hilarious.
Thank you Mel and Anon 10:21 for speaking some truth. It is far more complex there than people realise, no one just sits back and for you to think your tiny little post on a gossip blog completely understands the crisis going on there then…if you honestly believe that then you are the animal.
she is so classy looking.
I’d have been more impressed if she actually sponsored the family from Uganda, brought them to the states and put them all in boarding school. It’s not like she doesn’t have the means to provide for them all.
She IS helping them, by bringing attention to there plight, grr. Armchair philanthropist she is NOT — she went there to see for herself!
You have no idea if or how she puts her money were her mouth is, and she doesn’t have to answer to you or anyone else!
Are YOU sponsoring a family in Africa yourself?
What gives you the nads to criticize her?
How about them rising up and taking over from the vicious dictators that sit back and rule their countries from thrones of gold while the populace starves.
The single most stupidest sentence I have ever read.
She’s a gorgeous woman. Her hair and makeup looks smashing! Maybe I missed it, but what was she nominated for? Anyone?
What she does for Africa is no way to responds to her, when some people say they are animals, because he does not know what she or her refers. She has goals and she is trying to help children victims of AIDs when they robbed her self help. What a woman like Nat does every has to say something very distant of her humble heart. She has always tempted to do different things but until now she is very fit and with her head in her shoulders. For that I respect her, and I love her to try to help people around the World, when she defend animal, real animal like her Peta organization and she never use leather or eat meat, and that the way until now she has my respect,
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[...] with, and I’m really sorry I didn’t listen to my intuition. There was a scene in a [COLOR=#CC0000 ! important][COLOR=#CC0000 ! important]movie[/color][/color] that felt inappropriate for me, but I didn’t want to make waves. So I let myself get talked [...]