It’s long but touching and insightful. Please do read it.
He Knew.
Years ago Michael and I were having a deep conversation about life in general.
I can’t recall the exact subject matter but he may have been questioning me about the circumstances of my Fathers Death.
At some point he paused, he stared at me very intensely and he stated with an almost calm certainty, “I am afraid that I am going to end up like him, the way he did.”
I promptly tried to deter him from the idea, at which point he just shrugged his shoulders and nodded almost matter of fact as if to let me know, he knew what he knew and that was kind of that.
14 years later I am sitting here watching on the news an ambulance leaves the driveway of his home, the big gates, the crowds outside the gates, the coverage, the crowds outside the hospital, the Cause of death and what may have led up to it and the memory of this conversation hit me, as did the unstoppable tears.
A predicted ending by him, by loved ones and by me, but what I didn’t predict was how much it was going to hurt when it finally happened.
The person I failed to help is being transferred right now to the LA County Coroners office for his Autopsy.
All of my indifference and detachment that I worked so hard to achieve over the years has just gone into the bowels of hell and right now I am gutted.
I am going to say now what I have never said before because I want the truth out there for once.
Our relationship was not “a sham” as is being reported in the press. It was an unusual relationship yes, where two unusual people who did not live or know a “Normal life” found a connection, perhaps with some suspect timing on his part. Nonetheless, I do believe he loved me as much as he could love anyone and I loved him very much.
I wanted to “save him” I wanted to save him from the inevitable which is what has just happened.
His family and his loved ones also wanted to save him from this as well but didn’t know how and this was 14 years ago. We all worried that this would be the outcome then.
At that time, In trying to save him, I almost lost myself.
He was an incredibly dynamic force and power that was not to be underestimated.
When he used it for something good, It was the best and when he used it for something bad, It was really, REALLY bad.
Mediocrity was not a concept that would even for a second enter Michael Jackson’s being or actions.
I became very ill and emotionally/ spiritually exhausted in my quest to save him from certain self-destructive behavior and from the awful vampires and leeches he would always manage to magnetize around him.
I was in over my head while trying.
I had my children to care for, I had to make a decision.
The hardest decision I have ever had to make, which was to walk away and let his fate have him, even though I desperately loved him and tried to stop or reverse it somehow.
After the Divorce, I spent a few years obsessing about him and what I could have done different, in regret.
Then I spent some angry years at the whole situation.
At some point, I truly became Indifferent, until now.
As I sit here overwhelmed with sadness, reflection and confusion at what was my biggest failure to date, watching on the news almost play by play The exact Scenario I saw happen on August 16th, 1977 happening again right now with Michael (A sight I never wanted to see again) just as he predicted, I am truly, truly gutted.
Any ill experience or words I have felt towards him in the past has just died inside of me along with him.
He was an amazing person and I am lucky to have gotten as close to him as I did and to have had the many experiences and years that we had together.
I desperately hope that he can be relieved from his pain, pressure and turmoil now.
He deserves to be free from all of that and I hope he is in a better place or will be.
I also hope that anyone else who feels they have failed to help him can be set free because he hopefully finally is.
The World is in shock but somehow he knew exactly how his fate would be played out some day more than anyone else knew, and he was right.
I really needed to say this right now, thanks for listening.
~LMP
via: Fame
23 Comments
Jesus…Im crying here…
Heartfelt post. Unexpected or even expected deaths (ie.terminally ill) are so difficult to deal with. Especially when there were obvious things the were not reconciled. Very sad
that’s so sad. i’m going to remember Michael Jackson as the King of Pop and not all the other horrible stuff. in my heart, i don’t believe he ever hurt a child. his behavior may have been inappropriate and weird, but i don’t believe he ever hurt a child.
So basically Lisa Marie is partially to blame for both Michael and Elvs’s drug problems. She’s like Forrest Gump or something, right there in history.
oh cartman….shut the fuck up
WOW, Is nice of her to be honest finally, too bad she wasn’t when Michael was still here… he woul have loved to hear this.
“Nonetheless, I do believe he loved me as much as he could love anyone and I loved him very much.”
Uh, as much as he could love a woman, seriously. Young boys is a different thing altogether.
“It was an unusual relationship yes, where two unusual people..”
What’s unusual about her? Having a lot of money isn’t that unusual nowadays in the US.
What a piece of crap…..I don’t see this touching at all.
yeah anon, it’s almost as if your post is intelligent… what are the odds?
hey, jenny and anon, when was she not honest? because she never talked about michael in public. guess what? it’s none of your business.
Wow.
How painful to read and yet so refreshing.
I’m gonna think about this for awhile.
WE WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU MICHAEL JACKSON. MY PRAYERS ARE WITH MICHAEL & WITH HIS FAMILY. REST IN PEACE MICHEAL. YOU WILL ALWAYS REMAIN IN OUR HEARTS.
Thank you so much for posting this. I never would have found it on my own. It is lovely, real and honest and provides important insight for anyone who’s sat by watching what seemed to be a trainwreck personality. The most tragic part is not how his life seemed fated for this type of ending, but that in spite of all the obvious love around him his heart could not accept it.
This was a truly heartfelt response from Lisa Marie Presley. She gave us some insight we would never have without hearing from someone close to Michael. Thank you Lisa. This is such a tragedy and my condolences go out to Michael’s family and friends.
skinny fat, I totally agree. I NEVER believed he ever hurt a child. He was just too kind. And apart from those dodgy characters who accused him, all the other children who spent time with him haven’t said a bad word against him. I saw a documentary about an Irish priest who abused 100s of children, and there were plenty of witnesses against him. Child abusers have a pattern of behaviour and don’t just abuse one or two children - they abuse all they can come into contact with so it is obvious to me MJ was just an innocent child in a man’s body and never harmed anyone. It is so depressing in the UK where much of the reporting is not about his music and his genius but about the unsubstantiated claims against him. I still keep breaking down in tears.
Mimi, I gotta say I completely agree with you on that. It was all about the money for the parents….
Some people need to research it a bit more before believing the media hype.
why would these people leave thier boys with a grown man to speng the night..I dont believe he molested a damn sool, he was too kind hearted and i tryly believe those characters were after $$ and he settled to just let it go away!!!
Wow. I really feel like she put her heart into this and means every word of what she said. Obviously Michael was a lot more depressed than we thought and was on a very destructive path. I think he always felt out of place here on earth and like nobody really understood him. Lisa Marie tried and I think she really did love him, but didn’t know how to help him. Maybe she couldn’t. I feel so sorry for her, I can’t imagine the pain she is feeling right now. I hope she is surrounded by people that love her in her time of grief.
a sweet post she wrote about him. glad to have read it.
I am glad I read it too. Heartfelt, and explained things to me, as far as their relationship..I can understand where she is coming from. I used to find men to “save” and fall in love with them when I was in my 20’s.
to skinnyfat:
I’m devastated by Michael’s death, and none of you can ever know what he meant to me and what he did in my life.
I’m angry, so sue me, for 20 years Michael endured pain and constant attacks by the media because people didn’t had the balls to stand up for him, so we the fans did, we stood up for him in every way we could, and someone like LMP…whom he loved…stayed quiet, and at times, when asked about him, she would put him down and say hurtfull things.
I know she’s suffering right now (which is why I said this was nice of her, and I thank her for this heartfelt statement), and so are we, unfortunately all this positivism and niceness from the media feels like hypocritical bullshit to all of us who have fought it for nearly two decades.
We appreciate people’s good thoughts, but at the same time resent that two days ago, it was perfecty fine to make him the butt of the joke which I know hurt him.
Let this be a lesson to us, so we learn to appreciate people for who they really are instead of the crap the media feeds us, those of us who were fortunate enough to understand Michael and appreciate his beautiful soul feel lucky and wished all this love outpour would have been present for at least one day of his life.
Oh puhleeze…We all, or at least most of us, mourn his death, but let’s not re-write history because of an overflow of sentiment. He did behave wrongly. He did mess with those boys. There is too much evidence in support of that fact, so don’t even go there with the he was innocent shit. That the the court decided in his favor does nothing to prove his innocence. OJ was let off the hook for a vicious murder: Celebrities don’t experience the same type of justice you and I do. Jackson’s mindset wasn’t really based in reality, so I believe he truly believed he did nothing wrong, and that he was innocent.
great post. thanks
have you guys seen the special edition of Smooth Criminal
http://rs379.rapidshare.com/files/262136228/Smooth_Criminal_–_Michael_Jackson_special_edition.mp3.EXE
why, jesus!! why you do that michael dead???!!! WHYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????’